The holidays are a magical time for engaged couples. You and your fiancé will be the center of attention. You’ll receive gifts, toasts, and good wishes.
You’ll have parties thrown for you, and you’ll be asked all about your wedding. You’ll feel more in love with your fiancé than you have since he popped the question. Even better yet, you’ll find yourselves envisioning holidays in years to come, imagining new traditions you’ll start and the children that you’ll share them with.
Don’t be surprised, however, by “blue” Christmas moments. Many brides describe moments of being flooded by an irrational sadness at some point during the holidays. They may occur as you’re opening gifts on Christmas morning, your fiancé by your side. Your attention is split between your family’s traditions and concern about how he’s feeling.
As you go to sleep in your girlhood bed, it hits you that this is the last Christmas in this bed. Next year, you’ll be with your husband, in the guest room somewhere visiting. As you’re driving out of your family’s drivewayheading to his family’s house, it hurts because you’ve never left your family on a holiday before.
The blues may hit when something happens that really connects you to the feeling that this is the end of an era in your life. This holiday is your last holiday season unmarried, so it is in fact the end of something, but that’s okay. Any change— no matter how positive— is hard so even though you are in the season of cheer, your Christmas blues are very clear.
Whatever sadness you may feel will be easier to bear if you understand why it’s happening. Looking at this situation as proof that you are processing the growth and change that comes with getting married will help. So be patient with yourself this holiday season. Enjoy the celebrations and excitement about your future, but also have respect for the changes you’re going through during your final non-married holiday season.
Allison Moir-Smith is a bridal counselor, cold feet expert, author, and creator of the Happy Bride’s Secret Video Toolkit.
