Your brother has been there for you since you were kids, from being a not-so-attentive student while you played teacher to showing you how to throw a perfect spiral in the backyard to holding out on his vote of boyfriend approval until he knew you’d found The One, so it’s no surprise that you’d want him in a place of honor on your wedding day. If you’d love more than anything for him to be standing amongst the groomsmenwhen you walk down the aisle, our experts have a few tips for asking your fiancé to give your bro a place of honor.
First and foremost, you and your groom should discuss your wedding party vision. Will you have just a maid of honor and a best man, a few of your closest friends, or a dozen pals ranging from childhood playmates to fraternity brothers? Once you’ve narrowed down about how many people you’ll each be asking to stand by your side (though, of course, the numbers don’t have to be even), start thinking about who will make the cut. Does he have a sister you’d like to include as a bridesmaid? Or do you have mutual friends who’d be right at home on either side of the aisle?
Then, broach the subject delicately. If your fiancé and your brother have grown close over the years, it might be as simple as saying, “I know how close you and Seth have gotten, and you know how much he means to me. Have you thought about inviting him to be a groomsman?” If they’re friendly but not the best of friends, you may have to make a little more of a case. But remember — they’re his groomsmen, not yours, so you can ask, but can’t force him to choose your brother over his college roommate.
There’s also the option of making your brother a “bridesman” instead. Have him wear a suit that matches the groomsmen, but swap out the tie for one that matches your ‘maids’ dresses. Your fiancé might ask your brother to join the bachelor party and get ready with the guys the day of, but when it comes time for the ceremony, he’ll stand on your side of the altar.